


Dino Brain And Bug Breath

by blipblorpsnork



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Debauchery, Foul Language, M/M, Shrimpshipping, copying homework, highschool, horrible insulting nicknames, lets get real here, mostly just two dumbasses being two dumbasses, rivals to rivals, theyre just a couple of pissants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 16:11:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19113172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blipblorpsnork/pseuds/blipblorpsnork
Summary: Can Rex and Weevil go a single day without insulting one another? Probably not. Can they go even a single breakfast session at school without snapping at one another? Also probably not.





	Dino Brain And Bug Breath

“Anyways bug dick, that’s why I need your homework so I can copy it and make sure I don’t fail this class.”

“I told you not to refer to me with these insulting, inane nicknames!”

Piercing blue eyes warred with one another, one set hazy around the edges with the obvious sheen of substance and one with a shrewd distaste. If this were a televised production there would be a visible spark of electricity lining between them, going off at the center and tying them together intrinsically. Alas, it was not.

Despite his griping and grumbling and the dirty look he kept trained on the brunette, Weevil Underwood conceded and slid the small, neatly stacked pile of worksheets over to his friend and rival, a sneer curling his lip as he did.

“Just don’t get any stains on it dino breath, I have to turn it in and make sure I pass too!”

Rex Raptor glowered at him with a half-baked stare—figuratively and literally—and let his eyes flit up and down the petite teen’s figure before looking him dead in the eyes once more. “If I can’t call you bug dick or bug clit you can’t keep calling me dino breath, dickhead.”

Weevil’s sneer widened into a snarl that showed his teeth and he angrily shoved his spectacles up his nose with a scoff. “You referring to me with all of those horrifically debauched nicknames has absolutely nothing on me referring to you as something as puerile and inane as you are yourself!” he countered quite proudly, smoothing down his buttoned shirt and straightening the collar with a huff.

The dino-loving brunette was utterly unimpressed. “Ya know, insulting me with shit I don’t even understand doesn’t make for much of an impact,” he lightly remarked, hardly resisting the urge to roll those blue eyes as he got to copying down Weevil’s homework and adding in the occasional missed mark. “If you really wanna get under my skin I gotta know the stupid words you’re saying, genius.”

He absolutely seethed at that. “How dare you insult my insults you—you! You coprolite-brained, dunderheaded carnivore!”

And once again with the totally unenthused glance as Rex sniffed, wiped his nose on his sleeve—much to Weevil’s chagrin—and went right back to writing. “D’you use big words to make yourself feel better or t’make me feel stupid cause you’re only gettin’ one of those results and it ain’t makin’ me feel stupid.” He was very clearly being sincere—he’d always worn his emotions on his sleeves anyways, being facetious was legitimately not in his nature much-unlike Weevil’s. Outside of cheating on homework and tests, obviously.

 _Duh_.

Weevil’s blood, which had been at a light simmer, pitched up to a rolling boil. Gnashing his teeth roughly, he practically growled at Rex, eyes narrow and spiteful. “You wouldn’t be passing this class if it weren’t for me!” he boasted loudly, gods-be-damned who was listening. The school cafeteria was as noisy during breakfast as it was during lunch—the chances of someone important overhearing them was nil. “You couldn’t think your way out of a wet paper sack!”

Rex just snorted, a half-grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well yeah, asshole, I know that or I wouldn’t be cheating off’a your dumb ass,” he smoothly replied, gruff voice thoroughly amused.

“Well let’s see how far you get when I don’t let you cheat off of me then!” He snatched the papers off of the table, knocking one of Rex’s pencils to the floor with a satisfied grunt. The dino lover was completely remiss in his utter lack of give-a-shit or panic at the display, only giving his classmate a half-lidded stare that threatened to turn into a whole-lidded nap.

“So yer sayin’ if I stop callin’ you stupid names you’ll let me keep copying your shit?” he reiterated, raising an unkempt brow in distrust. Weevil didn’t know how to be honest if he wasn’t outraged, if he was being real.

“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying though not quite so ineloquently!”

Boy he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes _badly_ over that one. “Yeah ‘kay got it. So I can’t call you bug bitch.”

“Precisely!”

“And I can’t call ya a winged cunt.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying you moron!”

This time he let those pretty blues roll. “So,” he drawled, a devious smirk coming to pass, “I can’t call _you_ anything if I wanna pass this grade and graduate right? That’s the only stipulation?”

Weevil missed the emphasis completely, too wrapped up in what he assumed was lording over Rex in a way only someone of superior intelligence could. “Exactly. Stop calling me inane, derisive, _disgusting_ names and I’ll let you copy my well-done homework.” He was ever so proud of himself—so much so that he didn’t even bother thinking about the expression on Rex’s face.

The latter leaned back in his seat, a lazy, knowing look in his eyes. “Deal.” He tapped the table with a pen, kicking the pencil that had dropped away from them, and splayed out his hand to take the papers back. Weevil handed them over willingly, feeling he’d greatly won this battle, so to speak.

The entire next week consisted of Rex referring to Weevil’s favorite Monsters with increasingly vulgar and ridiculous names. He kept to his word and didn’t call Weevil anything derisive. It lead, however, to awful names like “Insect Queen Cunt,” “Perfectly Cum-Stuffed Great Moth,” and the ever clever “Cloaca Queen” (which wasn’t even a clever one so much as one as vulgar as he could make it, which, was just his entire existence anyways.)

Weevil could do nothing to stop it. He’d made a deal after all. That wasn’t to say of course that he didn’t get a few insults of his own—and a fairly earned smack upside the damn head or two—in now and then. He gave back just as much as he was given.

And he’d have his revenge. Oh, he’d have it. Just… Some other time. For now… He waited. And seethed.

_Dino-fucking loser._

**Author's Note:**

> Hey and thanks for reading! In my defense I intended on working on something far more serious and then my brain decided nope, I'd finish this wip from like 5 months ago. So uh... Have fun? Hope you had fun?? I have no idea it's 6 am lmfao. Please excuse my awful gremlin children. Til the next one! Love y'all! (If you love what I do and are interested in helping me out, see my bio for my Ko-Fi!)


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